A writer shares how open-water swimming became a vital source of healing, mental clarity, and connection to their late mother after her unexpected death from depression. Despite initial reluctance and messy swim strokes, diving into the sea provided instant relief from the suffocating grief and anxiety that followed the loss.
From Municipal Pools to the Open Sea
The journey into open-water swimming began in June 2024 in Croatia, eight months after the sudden passing of the writer’s mother at age 73. Experiencing severe grief, sleepless nights, and a constant tight sensation in the throat, a friend persuaded the writer to sign up for a week-long challenge of swimming 3km a day. Preparation had previously been limited to breaststroke in a municipal pool, a stark contrast to the open sea.
During the Croatia trip, guides introduced basic front crawl techniques and equipped the writer with flippers, sparking a growing confidence in the open water. This experience expanded into further guided open-water tours with Brighton-based company SwimTrek, including a 4km-a-day trip in Greece to celebrate a 50th birthday and a demanding 25km five-day tour off the coast of Kaş in Turkey.
Childhood Memories and a Shared Connection to the Water
Growing up in Croydon in the 1980s, the writer’s early swimming experiences involved chilly municipal pools, chlorine smells, and trips accompanied by their mother, who would swim laps in the adult pool while the writer bobbed around the children’s section. Summer trips to Brighton and bi-annual train journeys to visit family along the Mediterranean coast in Italy exposed the writer to the sea, while their mother would swim up and down the coastline for hours.
Reflecting on these moments, the writer realizes their mother lived with depression and anxiety, and likely found the exact same mental respite in the water that now brings comfort to the writer. Although they never explicitly discussed the emotional benefits of swimming, the mother maintained an active lifestyle through daily gym visits, tennis, and walking, eventually retiring to Bexhill-on-Sea in East Sussex.
Today, returning to Bexhill for seaside walks or cold-water dips helps center the writer. Despite feeling sadness that these swimming achievements can no longer be shared directly with their mother, the open water provides a powerful sense of connection to her memory, along with a welcoming community of new friendships formed on every journey.
